Content creator Professor Corporate is here to help. He regularly translates English phrases for setting boundaries, telling off annoying bosses, and other useful situations into this intricate language, arming everyone with the essential linguistic tools for surviving in the office.
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“Like many others, when I first started working, I was usually the one that was bullied, the one that wasn’t treated with respect, the one that was being underpaid, and the one that was simply being exploited, no matter how hard I worked,” he revealed.
But there’s only so much one can take. “I quickly got tired of being passed up for promotions and raises that I knew I deserved and was determined to find a new path. This is when I started studying higher-ups and executives at these companies to understand what they were doing differently.”
This was when Professor Corporate began to think that a substantial portion of them weren’t in their positions because of their skills or experience. “Frankly many of them were not that great at all. But what they were good at was optics. They knew how to look and talk the part. This realization is what made me focus on improving how I communicated because it is all a part of the game that is Corporate America.”
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Respondents to the survey found “like a family” to be the most annoying phrase — with 38% of votes — followed closely by “fast-paced environment” — 37%.
Just over a quarter of respondents reported that they encounter corporate jargon multiple times a day through various means of communication, mostly in emails, then in-person meetings, and instant messaging, but significantly less on phone or video calls, the survey indicated.
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“Is it an important factor? Absolutely. But there is a lot more to it. Whether we like it or not, speaking a certain way commands a level of respect that will impact how people interact with you, what opportunities are presented to you and even how much money you will end up making.”
According to the content creator, “we all wish we could work in environments where we can be extremely blunt and direct, but I think we all have stories of where this has backfired quickly. Those environments are just too rare to expect to be the norm.”
“Corporate talk enables you to convey your points in a way that is more socially acceptable without repercussion (or at least less likely). You can either complain about it and get nowhere or play the game better than the ones using it you take advantage of you. I choose the latter,” he explained.
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FSI research indicates that, on average, it takes an English speaker 24 to 30 weeks (600-750 class hours) to achieve proficiency in Category I languages (those that are similar to English, for example, Danish, Swedish, and Romanian) and 88 weeks (or 2200 class hours) in Category 4 (Arabic, Japanese, Korean).
Professor Corporate said learning corporate speak can feel daunting but it’s easier than most realize. “Confidence comes from exposure, experience, and repetition.”
“I was in the fortunate position to be surrounded by people who spoke like this and observing how and why they used certain words was something I used to mirror.”
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“Another tip is to start with written communication. Practice in your emails (and even text messages if you want to annoy people). But otherwise, there aren’t many resources I’ve found to be too helpful personally, which was a driving force of why I created my account and why I created the community we’ve built called the Corporate Clapback Academy.”
For everyone interested, Professor Corporate will be soon offering more formal training, including eBooks and personalized consultations. Anyone interested can sign up for updates here.
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