So it’s no surprise that when Reddit user Correct-Cycle5412 made a post on r/AskOldPeople, asking its members to confess if they have lost feelings for “the one who got away,” the replies were also mixed.
But what makes the discussion so interesting is that folks didn’t just give a yes or no answer. They shared deeply personal stories, and how those experiences have shaped their views on love and relationships over time.
WillAppropriate2011 , bilanol Report
vauss88 , Anastasia Shuraeva Report
“The day before I posted the question, I had a rather deep discussion with a close friend who’d just been through a painful breakup,” the Redditor told Bored Panda. “He told me that he had worked through a great deal of grief and was beginning to see his life clearly again without his ex, but he said that he felt as though he’d always regret that she hadn’t turned out to be ’the one.’”
“It dawned on me that we’ve all emotionally invested in at least one relationship which turned out to not be sustainable, and I wondered whether that feeling of loss ever truly fades for anyone. The question sort of rolled naturally out of that thought process, so I can’t say that it exactly popped into my head. It seemed to stem from a truth.”
DaneDaffodil , Nani Chavez Report
Gurpguru , MART PRODUCTION Report
dex248 , Mikhail Nilov Report
“It’s tempting to comfort a person (especially young people) in the wake of a failed relationship by saying that they will ‘move on’ and ’learn to love again,’ but the responses to that post seem to show that that’s not [always] the case.”
“I hoped to read older responders giving a resounding affirmative answer, but I instead was stunned by a resounding ’no.’”
oldnyker , Joshua Hoehne Report
Aware_Cartoonist_894 , Brett Sayles Report
hdhdhdhdzjursx , Maksim Smirnov Report
mtntrail , Tatiana P Report
And there’s a great benefit to moving on. In a study of people whose relationships had recently ended, those who quickly found new partners reported higher self-esteem and well-being and feeling less anxious.
Their relatively uninterrupted relationship status allows their lifestyle to flow smoothly as they transition from one partner to another.
avamomrr , Priscilla Du Preez Report
Neo1971 , James Frid Report
Airplade , Scott Graham Report
and yet…… you are still alive and well, right? i think you made the right choice.
Gorf_the_Magnificent , Solen Feyissa Report
“It pains me to admit this, but even before posting the question I’ve always felt that no one ever gets over a failed romance. Relationships fail because people either change or discover that their partner is not a suitable match. Even with that realization, we can’t really escape the feeling of loss when an intimate partner is no longer in our lives, and we grieve the version of us that dies with the relationship. I can’t see how that grief wouldn’t be lifelong,” they said.
homezlice , Esther Ann Report
Think_Leadership_91 , Jack Finnigan Report
FaberGrad , Wedding Dreamz Report
KBela77 , Hunter Newton Report
Craig Morris, research associate at Binghamton University, believes the differences boil down to biology. Since women have more to lose by dating the wrong person, they are better at accepting a relationship is over and selecting a new partner.
“Put simply, women have evolved to invest far more in a relationship than a man,” Morris said. “A brief romantic encounter could lead to nine months of pregnancy […] while the man may have ’left the scene’ literally minutes after the encounter.”
WeirdBogWitch , Teona Swift Report
MeanderFlanders , Ron Lach Report
Visible-Proposal-690 , MART PRODUCTION Report
MrScarabNephtys , Mykyta Martynenko Report
However, that same need to choose a good “mate” also makes women very “selective” about who they date, so they are good at enlisting the support of their friends to pull through and choose another person.
But men are more “competitive” in their approach, meaning the loss of a woman they see as a good catch could be deeply felt for months and years.
DATATR0N1K_88 , Abdel Rahman Abu Baker Report
sirbearus , Scott Broome Report
No_Practice_970 , Scott Broome Report
CyndiIsOnReddit , Anna Shvets Report
planodancer , cottonbro studio Report
airckarc , Hector Reyes Report
RealHausFrau , jmartinstock Report
EnlargedBit371 , Guilherme Caetano Report
spyder_rico , Image-Source Report
stever93 , Priscilla Du Preez Report
Upside-DownOmi , Karolina Kaboompics Report
knockatize , Kampus Production Report
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