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You can start things off very simply. Very calmly tell your problematic colleague that you don’t appreciate them doing something the next time they overstep your boundaries. By all means, be assertive, but don’t sound accusatory or judgmental. Make your boundaries very clear.
If your coworker is reasonable at all, they’ll change their behavior after you bring up the problem. Some folks have an issue with self-awareness. They don’t understand how their actions impact the people around them.
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Meanwhile, you might feel uncomfortable being anywhere near that coworker. You might want to consider sitting further away from them. Or, if things are seriously bad, you might even want to consider transferring to another department altogether. Though, if that’s the case, it’s an indication that there’s an issue with the entire workplace environment. Looking for another job might be your best way forward. Though, if you have the time and money, you can always seek legal help. There’s no excuse for harassment at work.
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However, in some cases, keep more of an open mind about the importance of having crystal-clear communication about your boundaries. Some individuals aren’t ignoring subtle social norms because they’re ‘creeps.’ As The New York Times Magazine points out, some people can struggle with social cues and behavioral norms because they have autism spectrum disorder. Other folks might be extremely socially awkward. And yet, this is not a blank check to do whatever you want.
“Once the rules have been carefully explained, however, it’s infantilizing to use the condition as an excuse for harmful behavior. It isn’t hard to understand a rule that, say, forbids a supervisor from making sexual or romantic overtures to junior staff members. An adult man on the autism spectrum is an adult man; the spectrum isn’t a certificate of sainthood,” Kwame Anthony Appiah writes.
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