Going on a first date can be exciting. You’re getting ready wondering how the night is going to go, and whether or not you will hit it off; and while many couples do, others - not so much.
It’s no surprise that bartenders are the people who get to witness many first dates—both good and bad. So when the redditor ‘gilesvg’ addressed the bartenders in the ‘Ask Reddit’ community, asking them to share stories of first dates going sour, they had plenty. If you’re curious about the fairytales that ended before they even began, too, scroll down to find them on the list below.
Below you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with a certified love life strategist, dating and relationship expert, Lisa Concepcion, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions about how important first dates are.
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“I advise giving people three dates if you think you are attracted to them and like them after the first date,” she continued. “By the third date you can decide if they’re a fit for you.”
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“They didn’t share the same dreams, goals, ambitions. They drank excessively. They lacked manners. They seemed immature and non committal. They were hyper focused on sex, all conversations led back to sex. They weren’t a person you could imagine bringing around your family. You regretted leaving your pet alone 30 minutes into the date. You didn’t find them attractive.”
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“The key thing is to be very clear with yourself about your purpose for dating. Are you dating for fun and nothing serious? Or, are you dating to attract your spouse or serious long-term relationship? Once you know exactly what your intention is for dating, you gain confidence and can openly and honestly express what you’re dating for.
“This is a very important thing to discuss on a first date and if possible even beforehand through an initial video call. Why waste time? If you are dating to attract your spouse you’re not going to want to go on a date with someone who is recently divorced and not looking to get serious,” she pointed out.
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“It’s very important to master communication and ask questions that encourage people to speak freely as you listen intently to gather data. Dating for data is all about engaging in meaningful conversation to learn more about the other person.
“It’s also very important to have conversations about worldview, morals and values. You want to determine if you both are on the same page on important things that matter,” the expert emphasized.
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“You don’t want to treat a first date like a therapy session where you’re complaining about what’s wrong in your life. Avoid talking about how awful the dating scene is. Avoid talking about sex on the first date unless you are asserting a boundary. Sexual innuendo too soon gives off a predatory vibe. People want to feel safe.”
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