One day the cat has to be let out of the bag, and these netizens did just that. They finally let loose all their juicy family secrets for the world to know.
More info: Reddit
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Some secrets are small and won’t really affect the other members of the family, whereas other confidential matters might be more insidious, such as affairs, violence, and illegal activities. Bored Panda interviewed Brad Shore, LMFT, to get his perspective on family secrets and why people keep things hidden for generations.
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“The psychology of shame supports family members in remaining quiet for decades because shame involves some sense or belief that I (or the entire family) is fundamentally flawed. Once shame settles into the family dynamic it can be extremely difficult to break its hold. Its ‘hold’ involves deep-seated feelings that I (or the entire family) is somehow flawed, immoral, permanently broken, unworthy, guilty, dishonorable, etc. And then these feelings lead to behaviors to control, conceal and cope with the shame,” he also added.
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Shared family secrets are the third type and usually something a household keeps from people outside the family. They can be about simple matters like traditions or jokes or more overwhelming and sinister things as well. Every family has a right to privacy, but it’s important to keep matters confidential in a way that doesn’t affect or harm another person.
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These shocking revelations can destroy the channels of communication between parents and children and ruin family cohesiveness. Ancestry and genetics are touchy subjects and it’s understandable why some people don’t want to reveal the truth behind them.
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Keeping family secrets also creates a toxic environment that can hurt members of the household and make people feel guilty or resent one another. A surprising fact is that constantly keeping things hidden can also make it harder to carry out everyday physical tasks, which means that the burden of keeping secrets is so heavy that it can take a toll on one’s daily life.
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What’s my intention behind letting this secret out now? If it’s out of spite or to punish someone, it’s better not to follow such impulses.Is it the right time to share this news? The wrong time to spill secrets is during parties, celebrations, or joyous family events.Is my mindset correct to share this secret? If you are going to tell someone the information because you are angry or fearful, it’s best to wait till the intense emotions have died down.Am I sharing this secret with the right family member? You should share it with someone you feel safe with and can trust.
The best time to reveal a long-held family secret is when you have truly processed the information, and you feel calm and composed. Opening up because of impulsive and heavy emotions isn’t a good sign.
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