One Redditor wanted to hear the opinions of other women on the topic. She recently asked on r/TwoXChromosomes to provide examples of how their partners weaponize incompetence and what excuses they usually use. And the women of Reddit did not disappoint. The curious Redditor u/Business-Wrangler-61 was kind enough to have a short chat with Bored Panda. You can read our conversation with her below!
F**kSakez , Liliana Drew Report
She believes that situations like this are common when people live together. And, in her opinion, it’s not only men that can weaponize incompetence. “I think that a lot of people, often, but not exclusively women, struggle with inept or unwilling partners.”
“It is infuriating but also ridiculous, and I wanted to hear the daft excuses other women have heard. It can’t just be me. And sure enough, lots of people knew exactly what I was talking about. I enjoyed the sisterhood in mocking these ‘incompedances.’”
ConcentrateTrue , Hannah Busing Report
toasterchild , Nathan Dumlao Report
u/Business-Wrangler-61 also agrees that we as a society (both men and women) are becoming more and more educated about the division of housework and what the mental load is.
“We are absolutely becoming more educated, but recent development worries me. I think men always knew how but didn’t want to, and increasingly now, especially in the US, people advocate more traditional gender dynamics. I don’t like it one bit,” the Redditor adds.
Virtual_Pea_7816 , Lisa Fotios Report
CinnamonBlue , Anton Nazaretian Report
MaxGoldfinch25 , RDNE Stock project Report
“For example, if you’re planning a meal for your family, you have to consider your family’s food preferences, allergies, schedules, dietary restrictions and needs, and so much more. The mental load is making sure all of the boxes are checked off and also that each task interacts just the right way with all of the other tasks. Our lives are like big machines, and it takes mental labor to fit all of the gears together,” Danger explained.
Adorable-Condition83 , Aaron Thomas Report
ifnotmewh0 , cottonbro studio Report
significantmorsel , Karolina Grabowska Report
“Domestic labor is feminized labor. Housework is seen as women’s work, so women are taught to do it, encouraged to do it well, and are judged on it. Even if you’re not explicitly taught that your job is to do housework, the messaging is loud and clear in media and in so many other aspects of our culture that women are innately better at housework. It’s simply not true. Domestic work is skilled work. Gender has nothing to do with how well someone does it. It’s learned.”
bananapineapplesauce , Martin Lopez Report
heeebusheeeebus , cottonbro studio Report
Meg-alodonut , Anna Vander Stel Report
So what can couples do? “You can start with the positives,” Laura suggested. “If you two start taking the household and mental load seriously, you’re both going to feel more empowered to make decisions that align with your needs. You’re both going to feel more heard. You’re both going to feel valued and connected.”
pistil-whip , Paweł L. Report
muhbackhurt , Nathan Dumlao Report
BalletWishesBarbie , Blaz Erzetic Report
theflyinghillbilly2 , Nonsap Visuals Report
PuzzleheadedLet382 , Jonas Leupe Report
One-Armed-Krycek , Irina Sergeeva Report
cuppitycupcake , cottonbro studio Report
LeafsChick , Olena Bohovyk Report
MuffinSongs , Hunters Race Report
pampooveysbacktatt , cottonbro studio Report
fedupwithallyourc**** , charlesdeluvio Report
LiquidFantasy96 , Patrick Report
Iwentforalongwalk , cottonbro studio Report
NickBlackheart , RDNE Stock project Report
umbrellagirl2185 , Elena Saharova Report
Macanom , cottonbro studio Report
Plantadhd , Tim Mossholder Report
palekaleidoscope , Thomas Cotton Report
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