Soon after, their stepsister approached him and asked him to do the same for her. However, they were never close, and he did not take kindly to the request. His refusal instantly caused a rift in the family, so the man turned to the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘ to air out his frustrations and ask the community if he handled the situation well.
Weddings have become expensive, and traditionally it’s been the bride’s family who picks up the tab
Share icon Image credits: Jeremy Wong/Pexels (not the actual photo)
But this man refused to be the sole contributor to his stepsister’s ceremony
Share icon Image credits: Liza Summer/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Share icon Image credits: throwRAashl
That’s a lot to ask someone you’re not really close with
Share icon Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics/Pexels (not the actual photo) In many places, wedding costs have steadily increased over the past years, with the average price in the United States rising from $30,000 in 2022 to $33,000 in 2024. Elsewhere, the figure tends to be lower. The Brits, Italians, and Spanish pay around $23,000 for their ceremonies, while Canadians and the French dish out $19,000 for theirs. Traditionally, the bride’s parents were responsible for hosting (and paying for) the entire celebration, but nowadays, the rules are fluid, with the other partner’s parents and even the couple themselves contributing to the expenses. “It’s something we still see every now and then, but generally speaking, monetary donations come with expectations that a lot of couples don’t want to deal with,” Rebecca Brennan-Brown, founder and wedding planner at Get Wed, a wedding planning agency based in London, United Kingdom, told Bored Panda. “With that in mind, a lot of people choose to fund their weddings themselves. If they are getting help from parents, it’s important that comes with very clear boundaries and communication on what that donation is expected to pay for.” According to Brennan-Brown, sometimes it can be smoother to ask the parents to pay for something in particular, like flowers or outfits, so that the lines are very clear, and everyone is on the same page. But if you’re not up for other people’s opinions, it’s generally best to consider alternative ways of funding the wedding. Share icon Image credits: Mikhail Nilov/Pexels (not the actual photo) While many families don’t (like to) discuss money, the bride did nothing wrong by initiating the conversation with the author of the post. After all, the budget should be the first topic couples settle when preparing to tie the knot. However, we’re talking about tens of thousands of dollars, and putting such a burden on someone you’re not close with can certainly lead to tension, so you have to be able to take “no” for an answer. “While there’s a wrong way to [approach your relatives about financing your wedding], I don’t think there’s a right way,” Brennan-Brown said. “It’s definitely a tricky conversation to have.” “Try to go into the conversation with no expectations, but be clear about what you’re willing to sacrifice. For example, is a £2,000 ($2,700) donation worth it if you have to invite 10 of their pals? It’s about give and take — going into the conversation with a rough idea of how much you think the wedding you want will cost is always helpful, but realistically people need time to think and consider their decisions.” Ultimately, the wedding planner said there’s a huge variation in relatives other than the parents contributing, and it’s certainly not the expected norm, although always hugely appreciated. Perhaps instead of burning bridges by repeatedly pressuring the man to pay for it all, the stepsister could’ve found a compromise with him?
Most of the people who read his story said the man did nothing wrong
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But some believe he could’ve been less categorical
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