A shift in values is the main reason experts cite when it comes to family estrangement. Shontel Cargill, LMFT, explained to Vogue that adults now prioritize their mental health and well-being. They choose to cut off their toxic or abusive family members to safeguard their emotional health.
So, when one person asked on Quora, “Why did you disown your parents?”, many people came forward with their stories. People say that sharing helps, so if you’d like to tell us your family estrangement story, feel free to do so in the comments below. Us Pandas are usually very supportive of one another!
Bored Panda reached out to two experts in the field of family estrangement. The first one is Family Estrangement Specialist Coach and Researcher Dr. Becca Bland. She’s the founder of Stand Alone charity in the UK, which helps adults who are estranged from their parents or children.
The other is Psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson, the author of Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child and host of the biweekly Reconnection Club Podcast. Both experts kindly agreed to share their insights about family estrangement with us.
Pat Nelson , Alexander Dummer Report
Psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson agrees. “Adult children stop communicating with their parents for many reasons, but the essential problem is how they feel in the relationship. Usually, it’s not the unchangeable past that’s the sticking point. There are current dynamics in play, such as the parent’s inability or unwillingness to understand, acknowledge, or effectively address a negative experience in the present.”
Dr. Bland also makes some observations from her own specialist practice. “I can see that adult children often feel a lack of safety in raising issues with their parents. As such, the dynamic doesn’t have the capacity to handle conflict and the skills to repair the relationship.”
Meredith von Lasher , Christopher Luther Report
Anonymous , Izzy Park Report
Dr. Bland observes that parents often don’t have the emotional capacity to have these kinds of conversations. “I often see parents who simply don’t have the skills to make a space safe for an adult child who wants to share their thoughts, feelings, and needs. It’s hard to hear negative feedback, and they may deflect and call the adult child sensitive, selfish, or entitled. This pushes people away further and reduces any faith that the dynamic can change.”
Robi Stephens , Pixabay Report
Hailstorm , Anastasia Shuraeva Report
Kat Elizabeth , cottonbro studio Report
“This gives an illusion [that] it’s on the rise, but, in reality, we are simply talking about it more,” Dr. Bland clarifies. “It is important that we talk about it more and allow space and dialogue in society for the grief. It’s also important to understand these decisions are never flippant and are often long considered and incredibly painful to make.”
https://qr.ae/psQLZW Report
Kate , Fred Moon Report
Daisy VL , OPPO Find X5 Pro Report
Dustin R Martin , Emocionaligencia Inteligencia Emocional Report
Anonymous Report
Anonymous Report
https://qr.ae/psQLo4 , Nicole Geri Report
Paul Leckner Report
Kris Levis Report
Joanna Lee , Michael Morse Report
Anonymous , Luis Tosta Report
Anonymous Report
“These types of groups have been studied and their impact is considerable,” she points out. “It is such a widely misunderstood issue, and finding others who understand adds a social dimension to how we process, move forward, and integrate these experiences.”
Zoey Ngu , MART PRODUCTION Report
Emily Rose Report
Hannah Baird , Bence Halmosi Report
“If you have a friend who is going through it, then it’s important to give space for the complexity and feelings rather than minimize [them],” Dr. Bland explains.
“It can be easy to think these situations can be easily fixed or judge people for letting go of family members. But in reality, family trauma is a considerable challenge for an individual to navigate. The space adult children take is often very necessary to help them heal, grow, and become whole.”
Anonymous , Kelli McClintock Report
Janet Christian Report
Todd Kleinert , Ryu Orn Report
Cheri Lynn , Claudia Wolff Report
Claudia Links Report
Misti Wolanski Report
Gordie Muscutt Report
Anthony Le , Ben Mullins Report
Raspbryl ONeill Report
Follow Bored Panda on Google News!
Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!
