Some people have wildly different understandings of masculinity and what it means to be a “real” man. These attitudes can put a lot of pressure on folks to fit certain stereotypes out of fear that they’ll be left out. When, in reality, “real” men do whatever it is that men do, from growing flowers to crying. After going on a slightly bizarre date, internet user u/Bikini_baby767 sparked a candid and important discussion on r/AskMen. The members of this popular online group opened up about the times that they’ve been called out for not being “real men” while doing completely ordinary things. Scroll down to see what they’ve experienced.
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To put it bluntly, toxic masculinity is when men are pressured to be aggressive, competitive, selfish, and violent. They’re expected to dominate, take risks, and be promiscuous. They’re also expected to hide “feminine” qualities such as being emotionally vulnerable, asking for help, or showing their true feelings.
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The irony is that by being open about our weaknesses and embracing our flaws, we actually end up becoming emotionally stronger and more accepted. If, on the other hand, we try to hide our insecurities, we can come off as untrustworthy or “fake.” Alas, even in this day and age, many men are still expected to “just deal with it” on their own if they’re struggling with anything.
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If you’re struggling with your mental health issues, the rational thing to do would be to ask for help and support. That way, you instantly jump to solving the problem. And that’s much more efficient than suffering alone while putting up a facade of nonchalance. Similarly, if your health is suffering, the logical thing to do is to immediately see your doctor. If you try to ignore the issue or pretend that it’ll all go away on its own, you’re only harming yourself more.
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However, on an individual level, everyone can foster healthy masculinity. And it all starts with self-awareness. You can try to catch yourself whenever you start judging someone based on stereotypes. Meanwhile, you can encourage your social circle to open up and feel safe around you by showing that you’re not scared of being vulnerable either. Slowly, that should build a shared environment of trust among you, your friends, and your relatives.
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