Navigating this rugged terrain isn’t easy for anyone, so men have recently been opening up on Reddit about the most frustrating issues they’ve encountered while trying to date. From misunderstandings to ever-changing preferences from women, we’ve gathered some of their most popular replies below. Enjoy scrolling through, whether you’re still in the dating pool or not, and keep reading to find a conversation with dating and relationships coach Rachel New!
anon , MART PRODUCTION Report
ArmariumEspata , Vera Arsic Report
Slarg232 , Josh Willink Report
First, Rachel noted that not knowing what the “rules” are is a common frustration for not only heterosexual men, but heterosexual women as well. “These men complain that they don’t know whether to take it slow (at both the messaging stage and moving the dates along to intimacy) and that women expect them to read their minds,” the expert explained.
“And some of these women worry that they will come across as too keen if they want to meet up rather than message a lot, or that the man will think they aren’t interested if they take longer to be ready to meet or don’t want to kiss on a first date,” Rachel says.
“Men are also expected to take the initiative to arrange the date, but can be criticized for ’taking over’ or being too controlling or assertive,” she continued. “And when they arrange the date, often the woman will not like what he has planned, particularly if it involves food.”
habbo311 , Klaus Nielsen Report
Zurg0Thrax , Karolina Grabowska Report
DontTakePeopleSrsly , Budgeron Bach Report
While there are some men that get a lot of attention on dating apps without much effort, that’s not the case for everyone. “There is another subset of men that never get any matches or messages, partly because of the superficial nature of dating apps that are so focused on appearance,” Rachel noted. “Research shows that men that have more to offer (skills of emotional connection, humor, empathy, listening skills, ability to take advice and change their views or behavior, and so on) will do better meeting people in real life.”
Splaaaty , Klaus Nielsen Report
Screambloodyleprosy , Ron Lach Report
_shadow_wolf , Keira Burton Report
WakeoftheStorm , Leeloo The First Report
anon , Mikhail Nilov Report
AaronParan , Hannah Busing Report
“We are vigilant because we want to protect ourselves from getting hurt or from disappointment. So when women say ‘Don’t bother messaging me if …’ on dating profiles, it sounds very intolerant but actually comes from a place of protection and empowerment: I deserve to be treated well and I’m not taking any risks,” she explained.
A-Red-Guitar-Pick , cottonbro studio Report
anon , Karolina Grabowska Report
SirGanjaSpliffington , cottonbro studio Report
festival-papi , Budgeron Bach Report
Educational_Fig_2213 , Andrea Piacquadio Report
JPK12794 , RDNE Stock project Report
“As very young infants, we need our caregivers to know when we’re hungry, tired, too hot or cold or distressed, and to respond appropriately. We can only cry at that stage, so we need them to read our minds. If we experience that responsiveness and attunement as young infants, we can move onto more emotionally mature developmental stages where we can simply request what we need and not feel wounded when people don’t always ‘get’ us immediately,” Rachel explained.
Wide-Expression5880 , Jep Gambardella Report
Tokedout01 , Diva Plavalaguna Report
anon , SHVETS production Report
“Ultimately, good relationship skills such as being able to discussing difficult emotional issues without it escalating are absolutely vital to navigating those early stages of dating, which is why I do a lot of work on those skills with people so they are ready when the right person comes along!” the expert shared.
If you’d like to gain insight into your own relationships or check out Rachel’s dating workbook, be sure to visit her website!
Fragrant-Mousse-6613 , Andrea Piacquadio Report
RickKassidy , cottonbro studio Report
anon , Good Faces Agency Report
MikeArrow , Andrew Neel Report
Follow Bored Panda on Google News!
Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!
