When this guy told his girlfriend he would need to be away for long periods for his job, she protested by saying she needs ‘human contact.’ Taking this as a direct confession she would cheat on him, he broke up with her. But, later, he decided to ask people whether he was right or just too quick to assume things.
This couple faced a dilemma over the boyfriend getting a new, exceptionally well-paid job
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As he would need to be away for long periods of time, his GF said she would have a hard time staying faithful
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Image credits: InternetBeautiful634 Share icon Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A long-distance relationship doesn’t mean there will be no physical intimacy
Work trips don’t necessarily mean a relationship has to be over. Couples can keep contact and maintain intimacy even when one partner travels extensively for work. The situation worsens when there are kids and parenting involved. But a couple can get through it if they put in some work. Since one partner will be spending weeks or even months away, technically, this becomes a long-distance relationship. And, while it comes with its challenges and disadvantages, two people can make it work if they really set their mind to it. Physical intimacy was at the center of this couple’s argument. But is it really true that long-distance couples don’t have as intense and satisfying intimacy as their regular relationship counterparts? Debra Macleod, a Calgary mediator and relationship coach, explained to Today’s Parent that it can be quite the opposite. “If a couple can do it right, they can keep that simmering attraction a lot stronger than the couple that’s crawling into bed with each other every single night.” In fact, long-distance couples might even have stronger intimacy bonds than their counterparts who are geographically close. A 2013 study found that people in long-distance relationships reported feeling more intimate with each other. One of the authors, Professor Crystal Jiang, said in a press release that people shouldn’t be afraid of long-distance relationships. “Indeed, our culture, emphasizes being together physically and frequent face-to-face contact for close relationships, but long-distance relationships clearly stand against all these values.” “The long-distance couples try harder than geographically close couples in communicating affection and intimacy, and their efforts do pay back,” the researcher stated. Share icon Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Maintaining intimacy in a long-distance relationship requires active effort
Keeping that spark alive can indeed be difficult. But, as research shows and experts claim, open communication is key. When it comes to physical intimacy, couples should take advantage of the benefits of technology. “You could explore sexting, phone sex, or sending each other sex toys,” sexologist and intimacy coach Lucy Rowett explained to GQ. She especially recommends ones that can be controlled by an app. That way, one partner can control the other’s toy, even if they’re far away. However, Rowett also notes that it’s not all about sexual intimacy. Surprises like little gifts in the mail or a delivery of flowers go a long way, too. Another fun idea can be sending or creating erotica to each other. Intimacy expert Magda Kay says it’s a great way to keep the spark alive and build anticipation for future meet-ups or calls. It’s not that grim in the long-distance relationship department. Research even shows that 60% of couples manage to make long-distance work. The trick is to dedicate time to each other and keep the surprises coming, just like in any normal relationship. Share icon Image credits: Djordje Petrovic / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Many people nowadays would choose their career over love if presented with an ultimatum
Perhaps once, people were romantics. Nowadays, it seems that’s not so much the case. For the majority of Americans, a job takes precedence over a romantic relationship, research shows. Zety surveyed 1,075 people and found that a whopping 75% would choose their career over a romantic relationship or even a marriage. Perhaps romance truly is dead, once and for all. In this day and age, people actualize themselves through their jobs and prefer a comfortable and steady income compared to making sacrifices for their romantic partners. However, why can’t we have both? A successful, fulfilling career and a happy family to come back to at the end of the day? That takes much more hard work on both partners’ end, of course. But what else is new? If we can train ourselves to be good at our jobs, why might we not do the same with our relationships?
The boyfriend provided more context about the breakup in the comments
Many people defended the boyfriend and said he was right to break up with his girlfriend
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Others thought everyone here could’ve done better: the communication between the couple was pretty bad
And some, although a minority, defended the girlfriend
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