Redditor u/johnnylgarfield started up an intriguing thread about linguistics on r/AskReddit. They asked everyone what, in their opinion, is badly named and what a better name for it would be. For example, why is a group of squid called a ‘shoal’ instead of a ‘squad’? It’s a head-scratcher! Scroll down for some interesting suggestions—both witty and serious—to improve the English language.
Bored Panda got in touch with Lisa McLendon, Ph.D., from the University of Kansas. She shed some light on the challenges that people run into when trying to rename something, as well as the factors that influence how language evolves. We also reached out to the author of the viral discussion, redditor u/johnnylgarfield. Read on for both of our interviews.
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“People get used to certain names for things, and new names may need quite some time to take hold. A good example of this is when a business buys the naming rights to a stadium but fans keep calling the stadium its old name,” she told Bored Panda in an email.
“Another challenge is whether people see a reason for a change. A lot of formerly acceptable names for groups of people or conditions are mostly gone (in polite company, anyway) because people realized they were offensive or disrespectful and wanted to change them,” McLendon said.
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The professor explained that some of the factors that influence how we change the name of things are actual change, politics, usefulness, respect, and novelty. “In general, ‘top-down’ efforts to change any part of language are a more arduous process than organic changes to language that develop through everyday use.”
It makes sense to change the name of the things when they change themselves. “For example, the USSR broke up, and each one of the countries that (re)gained independence afterward changed its name to drop ‘Soviet Socialist Republic.’ However, this isn’t always enough: Another example is Twitter being renamed X, but everyone still calls the posts ’tweets,’" Mclendon said.
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We also have to consider whether a new name is needed or useful. We need to ask ourselves whether a new name clarifies or distinguishes one thing from another. If that sort of change is needed, it’s more likely that the public will use the new term.
Something else to ask ourselves is whether the new term is clever or distinct enough to warrant the change. “A ‘squad of squid’ is much more interesting than a ‘shoal of squid,’ so people may like it enough to make that change easily,” the professor mused.
She also noted that “changing a name to honor someone or something or to get rid of an outdated or offensive name happens regularly, and usually pretty easily.”
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We asked them how they would change the English language if they suddenly had the power to do so. The Reddit user told us that they would most likely start by changing “the spelling of a few words.” That way, they’d hope to make them easier to pronounce.
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“English is a bit of a complex and intricate language,” u/johnnylgarfield shared with us.
“Don’t let the little things get to you,” they encouraged everyone to keep doing their best.
According to the author of the r/AskReddit thread, they didn’t quite expect the amount of attention that their question got on Reddit.
“I always wondered what things aren’t named well and should be renamed,” they revealed the inspiration behind the thread.
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However, changing language inorganically is a heck of a task. You would essentially have to convince the majority of English speakers that a thing they’ve been calling one way their entire lives should be called something else.
You would need to provide a compelling reason for everyone to learn to call a thing something else. Not only that, but all of those people then have to get into the habit of calling the thing the name you tried to convince them is more logical. This is going to take a lot of time, resources, and repetition.
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From our perspective, no language will ever be ‘perfect.’ For one, it would be incredibly difficult to come up with a unified understanding of what a perfect language would even mean. On top of that, it’s all of those linguistic quirks that make learning and using languages so enjoyable.
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“Sew and new don’t rhyme. Kernel and colonel do. When you see an ough, you might need to read it out as ‘aw’ (thought), ‘ow’ (drought), ‘uff’ (tough), ‘off’ (cough), ‘oo’ (through), or ‘oh’ (though),” Okrentis points out.
“The ea vowel is usually pronounced ‘ee’ (weak, please, seal, beam) but can also be ‘eh’ (bread, head, wealth, feather). Those two options cover most of it – except for a handful of cases where it’s ‘ay’ (break, steak, great). Oh wait, one more… there’s earth. No wait, there’s also heart,” the expert quips.
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Which of the linguistic changes featured in this post would you immediately embrace, dear Pandas? What things would you rename if you could? We’d really like to hear your thoughts on this, so if you have a moment, scroll down to the comments. (Meanwhile, we still think a group of squid should be called a ‘squad’…)
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