A man wondered if he was wrong to not let his older sister stay with him after she burnt her savings on a Taylor Swift concert and a Brazil trip. Despite not having a job, she decided to secretly take $30K out of her joint bank account, causing her husband to kick her out. Netizens debated the ethics and responsibilities of helping out people who can’t seem to help themselves.

Certain obsessions and hobbies tend to cost a lot of money

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But one woman covertly took $30K from her joint bank account for a trip to Brazil and concert tickets

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Taylor Swift tickets are a hot-button item

Share icon Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) The first thing that probably jumped out to most readers is the Taylor Swift concert tickets. Given the massive, smash success of the era’s tour, it’s not impossible to imagine someone spending the entire $30K on just concert tickets, merch, transportation, and accommodation. After all, VIP tickets to certain concerts went as high as $900, if you bought them directly, never mind reselling fees and upcharges. Others might be wondering why she would go as far as Brazil. Given the money involved, this seems like a larger, solo-party trip with a concert attached. It could also be the case that this was the only place she could even get tickets to. Last year, in the US alone, there were about 625,000 tickets available for the Eras tour, with over 14 million people competing to secure them. Better odds than the lottery, but not by much. Similarly, in Canada, 31 million people registered for Toronto ticket presales. For those not doing the math at home, that’s over two-thirds of Canada’s entire population. No doubt superfans are entirely willing to cross borders just for a shot at attending a concert. So in that context, going to Brazil just for a single concert is entirely in the realm of possibility.

The real issue is explicitly lying to one’s spouse about a trip

The real issue in this story isn’t the cost of the tickets or the scope of the Eras Tour. People are free to spend their money however they choose, particularly if they are adults over thirty. However, it’s somewhat telling that “Melissa” very purposefully didn’t tell her husband about her plans. Some might argue that it was his money, which is technically probably true. But in a marriage, it’s probably best to not count pennies over who “owns” what. On the other hand, dishonesty is a significantly tougher pill to swallow. She did choose to lie, not tell him about the trip, and then spend a pretty large sum exclusively on herself. Perhaps she knew he wouldn’t approve and would refuse to “let” her do it, so secrecy was her only chance. This is certainly a sad situation, but you can’t exactly fault a man for kicking out a partner who secretly spent a massive sum and lied about a trip. For better or worse, regardless of who is “at fault,” this does not seem like a happy couple.

OP ended up caught in a crossfire

Share icon Image credits:  Christian Erfurt / unsplash (not the actual photo) At the same time, this entire situation puts OP in a tight spot. Some folks do believe in helping family unconditionally. After all, perhaps his sister was in an unhappy marriage and wanted to escape. However, OP does know his own sister a lot better than us and he quite explicitly made the decision to not help her. After all, she is an adult who made her own bed. Blowing that sort of money on a vacation seems insane for most of the population, so it might be a tad hard to relate. OP might also be hesitant, given the fact that his sister, currently jobless, might not have a clear plan for when she will move out. No one wants a permanent houseguest.

OP shared some more thoughts in the comments, where most people sided with him

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