One anonymous woman, who lost her husband, turned to the AITA community for a verdict on how she handled a very delicate family situation. She opened up about how her partner’s mistress showed up and demanded a cut of the inheritance for the secret child they had together. Things escalated to the point that the author ended up cutting one of her own children’s inheritance in half. Scroll down for the full story, as well as to read the internet’s mixed reactions.
Losing your significant other is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone
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A widow opened up to the internet about how she learned that her late husband had an affair and a child in secret
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[update]
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People are unfaithful to their partners for a variety of different reasons, from anger and low self-esteem to having unmet needs
It can be incredibly painful to learn that your significant other isn’t quite the person you thought you knew. Discovering that not only did they cheat on you but also had other children is bound to be shocking and can even tarnish your memory of them. It can take a while to process what happened. And it can be very useful to speak to a family therapist or a counselor who specializes in grief to work through everything. They can help you accept what has happened, heal, and move on. Of course, therapists can’t wave a magic wand to make you feel better: you’ll still have to do most of the heavy and uncomfortable emotional lifting while they guide you. People can end up being unfaithful for a lot of reasons. For some people, cheating is something they do simply because they have the opportunity to do so and don’t care about the consequences of their actions. Others might have deep self-esteem issues, so infidelity is their way of feeling attractive and desired. Share icon Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
If the goal is to rebuild trust, then transparency and taking full responsibility for one’s actions are the way to go
But those aren’t the only factors to consider. If someone constantly has their physical or emotional needs unmet, and they’re not getting the commitment they need from their partner, they are more likely to be unfaithful. Someone else might choose to cheat out of anger, to ‘punish’ their significant other, whether for mistreatment at home, those same unmet needs, or to get back at them for being unfaithful in turn. There is no guarantee whatsoever that your partner will be able to forgive you for having cheated on them. However, the first step toward attempting to heal the rift between the both of you is all about honesty and transparency. You need to own up to what you’ve done if you want to have a shot at eventually rebuilding the trust between you brick by brick. But the vital part here is not to look for excuses for your actions. Don’t attempt to justify what you’ve done. Don’t try to blame your circumstances or any other person. What would you have done if you were in the author’s shoes, dear Pandas? How would you react if someone demanded a cut of the inheritance you got? How would you react if you found out that your partner had cheated on you and had a secret child for years and years? What do you think it takes to forgive infidelity? Share icon Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano / pexels (not the actual photo)
The internet’s reactions were very mixed. Some people thought that everything could have been handled much better
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At the same time, many other readers thought that the woman did what needed to be done to handle the situation
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